Isn't there a more efficient way?

Cornelius. The story struck me when I heard it referred to in one of my missions lectures. God tells an angel to appear to Cornelius in Caeserea. That is, He sends an angelic messenger all the way from heaven down to earth to give a message to this man. The angel is going to scare Cornelius and certainly get his attention.

Why wouldn't the angel just tell him the gospel right then and there??

For all that "mileage" in coming down from heaven, the angel just lets him know who to look up. Seems like as the church is preparing for this pivotal juncture in missions (the gospel becomes the message for the whole world), God illustrates how He likes to work.

Gosh, it would be quicker and foolproof to send angels. They don't get sick with the food, or mess up the grammer, or miss their families, or get scared of going by themselves, do they? They never disagree with their Team Leader or have to worry about Land Rovers to get them around or have to get shots and take pills to stay healthy.

Angels to my friends in Awanno. Angels to my friends-to-be in Langano. Dazzling robes, maybe with hair that is white like wool or something catchy like that. Then all those people would listen and understand, wouldn't they?

But its us! He showed us in Acts and commanded us in Matthew: He is using us. Not us alone, but He is using us. With all our conflict, misgivings (even Peter in Acts 10 has misgivings), and fear of the unknown mission field experience that lays before us. Good thing we aren't alone.

I have found so much comfort in recently in Revelation 1:17-18. "Do not fear. I am the first and the last...." Why would that make me not afraid? Because He is on my side, and He is holding the keys to death and Hades. He is the beginning and the end, and the winner of everything, and He is telling me not to be afraid.

That is good, in light of the path ahead of me. I can't see the muddle in the middle, but He is the first and the last.

I suppose all along the way in terms of preparing for heading back into missions, there have been a lot of things I could not imagine happening. As some of those unimaginable things come to pass, I suppose it is a concrete sign that God is working in my life, not just me moving forward on my own willpower.

Last year I couldn't really imagine any concrete planning to be a long term missionary at all. More recently, this fall, I couldn't imagine actually sitting down to write another prayer letter- sort of feels like, "Hey, everybody, its me again, feels like I am always asking for money." That was in the fall before I made my January trip over, and I figured if it was really His leading, somehow I would convince myself to sit down and write it.

I did not have to convince myself, but I sure wrote it. And as I wrote it, I cried thinking about how much I DO believe in what God is doing in the world, and the ultimate supremacy of Jesus Christ and the truth of His words to us. Even sitting down to write it at the kitchen table with the morning sun coming in... putting my hands on the keys... I had imagined it would be harder than it was.

That is evidence of God.

And now I see more ahead of me that I can't imagine and genuinely don't want. Good bye parties, oh, gosh, that doesn't sound fun. Or moreso- saying goodbye to my family- my parents and my sisters here whose lives are so intertwined with mine. What in the world is going to replace that element of my life in Ethiopia? I can't get excited about the HQ dynamics....

But I have the evidence, right here fresh in my mind and memory- He leads us forward right through whatever it is we dread or fear or just plain old don't look forward to- and He makes it good and worth it all.

Even when we can't quite imagine how it is going to work out.

Missions

I am listening to these lectures from the Ockenga Institute Online (through Gordon-Conwell) and the lectures are so good.

I can't quite describe the feel they give me, but its the same feeling I felt sitting in my Perspectives on the World Christian Movement back in... 2003 I guess? A long time ago.

Its that feeling of a whole lot of smart talented people pouring their lives into missions, this amazing labor force enabled with the much more amazing Holy Spirit of God, and they are coupled together to complete this joyful task and bring the End, and the End will be ultimate Joy as we see Jesus on His throne. And all that labor force, and all the people that have loved Him and died, and all those buried in that missionary graveyard outside Nairobi, Kenya, and all those Africans that sing so loud and well, and all the quiet worship types, we'll all be there and there will be no more pain, and it will be worth it.

That's kindof the feeling, and it reconfirms and reconfirms and reconfirms every day to me that I would not want to be anywhere else but working in Christian Missions, promoting the only Message that really came to help all the problems in the world, the gospel of Jesus Christ.

So it is getting me ready...