Weddings, weddings.

"Don't you know what a Protocol is?"  Adanech asked me this a few months ago.  She used the English word "protocol" -which I know- but she was talking about her wedding, and I don't associate the word with weddings.

 

Well, I learned.  A protocol is like the bride's "maid"- sort of like a maid of honor, but a little separate from the bridesmaids.  I was Adanech's protocol, and her wedding was yesterday!  That means I am checking on her, bringing her water, pretending to fix her makeup or fix her dress, helping her move from here to there. 

 

The setting was amazing.  We stayed overnight at her brothers house in a town called Karsa up in the mountains.  His compound is muddy, muddy, muddy with all the rain, with an outdoor outhouse that had filled since it was raining (not pleasant), and it was something trying to imagine us in (rented) bridesmaid dresses and heels walking through the mud, fixing our hair and makeup and such with only cold water in buckets!  Allyson and her girls (who were flower girls) did great!  So we spent the night, four of us in one bed lying crossways, and when I woke up in the morning to the rain, I thought, wow, do we have it easy in the US!  Don't have to walk through the rain to wash our face, or take a shower, or anything!  Wow!

 

We had so much fun getting her fancy.  She is so beautiful she didn't need much makeup, and when the dress and the veil were added in it was an amazing sight.  Then we waited- the bride and her family and bridesmaids wait for the groom to come receive her.  They were delayed with one broken down vehicle, two getting stuck in the mud, all of the cars getting stopped and having to pay to cross a deep trench, and one car hitting a donkey (more challenges than expected....) so it was glorious and fun to hear the honking, singing, and drumming outside her house as they pulled up.  The grooms party entered dancing and singing as she sat- on the couch with the dress spread out behind her- waiting for his entrance.  When he arrived he walked her out to the seat of honor (the protocol behind holding her dress up of of the mud but accidentally stepping on it three times) at the little ceremony place that had been set up in the "front yard."  We ate a meal, and the crowd (of 100 people) was also served.  After being in the house for a traditional time of blessing with Adanech's parents (they were given gifts from Abera and then the bride and groom kissed the knees of the parents.  The bridal party followed suit and we kissed their knees as well), we got in the cars and headed back to Langano.  I was happy to be heading for home- we were all tired.

 

We had a short program then an amazing feast that Yeshi had fixed in our camp dining hall right here on our compound, then cake time, then a big campfire with singing and games at night.  It was a long weekend, but I was so fulfilled at the end of it- wow, I don't feel like an outsider!  My white skin doesn't go away, but I was able to be close to my good good friend (one of my best Ethiopian friends for sure) during her wedding day and she told me I did a good job being her protocol!  Ethiopians do weddings in an amazing and beautiful way. 

Langano Scenes

 

Labor and delivery...

"WE ARE TRYING TO HELP YOU.  YOU HAVE TO COOPERATE!"  I am close to her face and my voice is raised.  She waves me away and closes her eyes.  I know labor is hard, and a woman's first delivery must be scary, but she is pushing us away, clamping her legs together, and won't let us touch her!!  Allyson and I exchange frustrated looks- we are all tired.  As we seek to make our labor and delivery care more culturally sensitive, its always hard to know how to give the best care.  These women are extremely modest and don't ever want to be uncovered, which means an old blanket is always draped on her- what about keeping clean, though?

 

And at what point do we say we cannot treat her when she tells us over and over, "Don't touch me!"?  My own frustration levels are high, and as we sit and wait, we discuss and try to understand.  I think it is a group decision to bring a woman in labor into our clinic, I don't think the woman herself is usually the one requesting the clinic.  The family may be in favor of it, but to the woman herself it may be an unknown environment during a frightening time.  Who knows the layers of social history she carries?  Does her husband hit her?  Most husbands do here.  He is attempting to tell her to cooperate but she pays no attention.  She is from a town some miles away- does she get along with her in-laws?  They have thrown their hands up in frustration as well.

 

"THIS IS OUR DAY OFF and we are helping you!"  I am loud again as she swats my hand away.  FINE lets leave the room, she can have that baby her own way.  We are exasperated at her attitude and here we are trying to give her good care!

 

It wasn't until a few hours (and a healthy baby boy!) later, as I took my Sunday afternoon swim at the lake and sat on the beach listening to a sermon, that I had any perspective on her.  Romans 5:  before we took any steps towards God, He extended grace to us.  Before we deserved anything, He reached out when we would slap His hand away.

 

So what right do I have to think I am the "good guy" treated our uncooperative patient?  Am I any better than her, and do I understand grace extended to everyone?  It is easy to see myself as the good person- here from my rich country to help these poor people.  God must cringe to see those attitudes in our hearts.  None of us made any move towards Him until He came to us, and spoke to us with His Word.

Deliveries and latrines and such...

Langano is really fun.  It is hard thinking about leaving it!  I told Brian (who I saw this last weekend) that all the things I do during a work day are things he would love to do- work that is really fun for him.  He is better equipped for community health than I am!

 

I am working a lot on keeping our latrine project moving.  We have 12 to build, and we're almost finished with #5, the hole is dug for #6, we chose a spot for #7, and we're discussing possible placement for #8.  I'm learning about how we can demand more community participation (getting them to dig the hole) than I demanded last fall when we started this project.  Things are moving faster now that we're demanding more.  We chose the spot for #8, told them to dig, and we said we'd be out in one week, if they hadn't finished digging, we'd dump the dirt back in and fill it up!  I like the young man, Ganamo, that is working for us so that makes it easy to interact with him and check up on him. 

 

We've had lots of teams come out!  We had a team from Baylor University/nursing school a few weeks ago and we have another one from a church in New York here now.  NOT to mention the constant stream of visitors- it is a great place to have visitors because it has the camp facility and (usually) a cook for meals, so it is really fun!  With the medical teams my job has mostly been to take the nurses out for community visits.  I love watching their reactions- I took two nice ladies out today, and they were just amazed and loved the experience so much!  We just sat in a smoky hut, and the women made us coffee over the fire and we drank it, what is it about those visits that are so amazing?  They leave me feeling good to, I think because its one of my favorite things to do in the whole world!  Brian will be down this weekend so I'm going to try to take him out to visit.

 

We had a labor patient in on Monday.  It was complicated because she was the village leaders' sister in law, so that puts a different kind of pressure on us to make sure things work out ok.  There was a lady from our area that died in the clinic over Christmas so it makes us a little leary- we're more tempted to transfer her out sooner.  Her clinical picture was a little weird- the baby seemed (from her stomach size) to be premature, but we couldn't tell for sure because she had more fat on her than most Ethiopian women, and the woman tried telling us she was full term.  Anyways, about 3 we felt uneasy and told the family to pay for a tranport to a hospital- I was going to drive her.  We didn't want a bad situation on our hands in the evenings because we do not as an SIM rule drive after dark.

 

So I went to get the car, feeling tired from just having arrived from Addis and just so many people and languages around, drove down to the clinic to pick her up and they said, "check on her she may deliver."  So I watched her moaning and groaning, stepped out the door to have the guard call Allyson (I wanted her to be there for the delivery) and when I got back in the room, barely got gloves on and THERE was this little baby all goopy and green from meconium not breathing but big eyes open looking at me!!  I called for Kim and we had to work a while with the bag and mask and the suction to get the baby breathing, but he perked right up after a few minutes.  He was 1.7 kilos!  (About 3.7 pounds!?)  She stayed overnight so we could watch the baby, but he looked good as gold today.  He's so cute!  We were so glad she didn't deliver on the road, I don't think the baby would have lived.